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Author Topic: NotBAMF watched all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to! (2017!)  (Read 6980 times)

Not BAMF

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #30 on: January 31, 2015, 07:55:18 PM »

Yeah, this one was awful. And Vince is just the worst commentator ever- the worst part is, he thinks he's the BEST, and that's why he's always yelling at the actual commentators. He wants them to be more like him.

Every time Davey-Boy picks up Shawn in the Gorilla Press, I expect him to throw the bum out. Instead, he just plops him onto the mat. What an idiot.

I think Crush does it near the end, too. When it's down to the three of them.

I'll give Vince this: He's enthusiastic. He makes Well Dunn sound like they next great thing. Problem is...HE NEVER STOPS--THREE--No,no--TWO, just TWO! :)

And I'd put the 1988 ahead of this one. I mean...yeah, it had the end. But...dear lord it sucked until then.

Yeah, but 1988 was genuinely awful, too.
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Propeus The Fallen

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #31 on: January 31, 2015, 10:53:22 PM »

At least wrestlers had time to do stuff and the ring didn't pile up so badly and...there were important people in it.
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Not BAMF

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #32 on: February 01, 2015, 02:04:30 AM »

1996: The Do-Over

The Participants

1. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
2. Henry Godwinn
3. Mr. Backlund
4. Jerry Lawler
5. Bob Holly (Finally rechristened Bob Holly, but still a NASCAR driver)
6. King Mabel
7. Jake Roberts (during his "I'm sober now, guys!" run which... sigh. Well, at least he's better NOW in 2015)
8. Dory Funk Jr.
9. Yokozuna
10. The Kid (another guy we missed a whole era on. We don't see Kid in the Rumble until his heel run)
11. Omori (He was totally my pick to win. I loved me some classic WWE Omori matches!)
12. Savio Vega
13. Vader
14. Doug Gilbert (Part of WWE's talent swap with USWA)
15. Swat Team Guy #1 (Seriously... they don't even name them. Just... "That's one of the Swat Team!")
16. Swat Team Guy #2 (...sigh.)
17. Owen Hart
18. Shawn Michaels
19. Hakushi
20. Tatanka
21. Aldo Montoya (He lasted a full year+?)
22. Diesel
23. Kama
24. The Ringmaster
25. Barry Horowitz (Ooohhhh yeah. I forgot this guy's push. Or, rather, temporary moment as a "name")
26. "Make A Difference!" Fatu
27. Isaac Yankem
28. Marty Janetty
29. The British Bulldog
30. Duke Droese

Final Four
4th - The British Bulldog (elim by Shawn)
3rd - Kama (elim by Diesel)
2nd - Diesel (elim by Shawn)
WINNER - Shawn Michaels

Notes/Thoughts

-The announcers this year are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect, which... I don't ever remember their being a prominent announce team ever, but okay.

-That said, Perfect gets a classic heel line chuckle early when Henry Godwinn (who had some GOOFY ass ring music, btw) does a "hog call", and Curt mentions he saw three girls rush up to the front row.

-Mr. Backlund comes out, and Perfect notes that Mr. Backlund went to Princeton, but Vince quickly shuts that down as untrue. Sure, but that Godwinn guy REALLY had a pig farm, huh?

-Hey, this is the first year that everyone (not just the first two entrants) gets his ring music played to accompany his appearance. I guess it's not the biggest deal in the world, but I always thought it was a nice touch.

-Ah, one of my favorite names in pro wrestling accompanies Mabel to the ring. "Sir Mo". I'm pretty sure it is a monarchy law that no one named Mo can ever be knighted.

-Upon his entrance, Jake Roberts just chucks his snake straight into the ring to let it slither around and freak everyone out. Lawler flips his lid and flees, hiding under the ring for the next half hour or so until Shawn digs him out. What's more, even all these years later, "Jake teases the DDT" is still big booking... and the fans STILL chant "DDT! DDT!"

-In a stat I haven't actually kept track of, but FEELS right, the Rumble doesn't see a single person eliminated until after the NINTH MAN enters (Yokozuna in this case). That has to have at least BEEN a record.

-Royal Rumbles LOVE Fat Guy Standoffs, and we have another one here as Mabel and Yokozuna square off. It dawns on me how probably the single most overspammed move of the Fat Guy Standoff is the avalanche, but it's played really well here, as Henry Godwinn was actually BEHIND Mabel during the Avalanches, and NO ONE KNEW. You just see him squirt out after Mabel falls out of the corner. On the plus side, he is now more ready if his hogs start charging him.

-This is one of the few Rumbles where I'm going to comment on the actual MATCH FLOW because it is so poor here. There is a lot--A LOT--of "lazy walkin' around" this year, and it's especially notable when one camera angle catches two or three guys just slowly moping around the ropes. The pace picks up later, but it's deathly slow and boring in the early-to-mid portions of the match.

-Vince and Perfect keep pimping the Superstar Line where you could call and get a juicy tidbit about who is going to enter the ring next. For one thing... god, I had forgotten all about wrestling's age of having charge lines to call and get "scoops". For another... how would you like to waste your money to call and be told "Hey there, WWF fan! Hold onto your couch because the next man up is DOUG GILBERT! Will the Royal Rumble ever be the same once DOUG GILBERT enters?!"

-It's funny... this year is hardly a world conquering array of talent, but after 1995, this almost seems like an All-Star Rumble.

-LOL... Jake Roberts FINALLY hits a Royal Rumble DDT (I'm not sure he ever advanced past teasing them in the past), but is then immediately pitched by Vader. Ah well, the fans went nuts for the DDT, at least.

-Vader and Yokozuna, both managed by Jim Cornette, have a few confrontations this Rumble in-between teaming up, but their first one sees Cornette go nuts and jump up on the ring apron to tell them to knock it off. After they settle this dispute, they settle into a routine of double-teaming Savio Vega for, like, a while. A WHILE. I started feeling bad for Savio after a bit.

-Owen comes out and instantly gets his tires pumped by commentary for being the guy to shelve Michaels for a while. I'll be honest... I totally bit on that episode of Raw and thought the whole thing was legit.

-Vader and Yokozuna come to blows AGAIN, this time near the ropes, and it allows Shawn to pretty easily flip them both over. Vader loses his shit over this, gets back into the ring, and eliminates EVERYBODY. Like, in a few seconds, he gets everyone over the top. Makes you wonder why he didn't do that earlier. In another case of "The Rumble's Rules Are What We Want Them To Be", everyone Vader tossed is allowed back in to keep going. Which is super lame because it completely the negates the one big thing Vader was allowed to do. Speaking of which, why were the rules to Royal Rumbles so casually enforced?

Managers are barred from ringside... some years.

You're eliminated if you throw yourself over the top rope... unless it's 1992 and Randy Savage does it.

And if people not in the match or already eliminated throw you out, you're still out... except in this instance.

Seriously... it's maddening. I feel like Sisyphus trying to figure out the inner workings of this shit. Every time I think I'm close, they change something for ONE YEAR.

-Vince says "It's the Royal Rumble... it doesn't have to make sense!". Fuck you. No. That is NOT an excuse for continuity errors. Don't you give me that, you smug hairball!

-The announcers make sure we NEVER FORGET Shawn is dealing with a traumatic head injury!

-Hunter gets the Iron Man run here, lasting from #1 to after #25 enters the match.

-Classic Austin, even as he was pissing time away as The Ringmaster: After flattening HBK, Austin mocks Shawn's little pose. Even a stupid gimmick and name couldn't hide this guy for long. He does get eliminated off camera unceremoniously, though.

-Shawn wins by hitting Diesel with Sweet Chin Music RIGHT after Big Daddy Cool pitched Kama. They tease another split between them, but Diesel just gives Shawn a high-five instead, so Shawn could go back to his strip-tease celebration (he was ALREADY doing that?)

Rankings Thus Far
1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10
2. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
3. 1996 (Michaels II) - 5/10
4. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
5. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
6. 1994 (Hart/Luger) - 4/10
7. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10
8. 1995 (Michaels I) - 2/10
9. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10
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HalloweenJack

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #33 on: February 03, 2015, 12:46:41 AM »

i like how they refer to Henry Godwinn as just the Hog Man/Farmer for a loooong time
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Propeus The Fallen

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #34 on: February 03, 2015, 03:18:55 AM »

Poor Barry Horowitz. Guy was actually getting big pops--but if McMahon believes you're a jobber then you're a jobber no matter what--well unless you put on thirty pounds of muscle. 
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HalloweenJack

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #35 on: February 03, 2015, 11:03:39 PM »

and even then you might just be a Jobber To The Stars
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Not BAMF

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #36 on: February 04, 2015, 01:28:37 AM »

1997: The Rattlesnake

The Participants

1. Crush (At this point, Crush was a part of the Nation of Domination. Because then it isn't racist!)
2. Ahmed Johnson
3. Raz-ersatz Ramon (Ohhhh... these guys)
4. Phineas Godwinn
5. Stone Cold Steve Austin
6. Bart Gunn
7. Jake Roberts
8. The British Bulldog
9. Pierroth (.... PIERROTH! Sounds like a Lovecraftian monster)
10. The Sultan (Guess he never did make that difference in 1996)
11. Mil Mascaras
12. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
13. Owen Hart
14. Goldust
15. Cibernetico
16. Marc Mero
17. Latin Lover
18. Farooq
19. Savio Vega
20. Jesse James (the once-and-future Road-Dogg)
21. Bret Hart
22. Jerry Lawler
23. Pseu-Diesel (Because dentistry wasn't paying the bills)
24. Terry Funk
25. Rocky Maivia
26. Mankind
27. Flash Funk
28. Vader
29. Henry Godwinn
30. Undertaker

The Final Four
4th - tie - Undertaker/Vader (eliminated simulatenously)
3rd - Fake Diesel (...yep. Eliminated by Bret, btw)
2nd - Bret Hart (elim by Austin)
WINNER - Fang McFrost

-Preliminary notes: The entrances are back down to 90 seconds, and the commentary is the Rumble's first three-man team of Vince, Lawler, and Jim Ross. They actually have really good chemistry between the three of them, and Vince is less grating working with these two pros. He still peppers the match with "HE'S OUT no he's not", but it's easier to take this year.

-Ahmed Johnson and Crush were having a pretty good opening struggle until Farooq appears to bait Ahmed Johnson. Typical idiot Rumble strategy, as Ahmed LEAPS OVER THE TOP to chase his foe, rather than run out between the ropes so he could re-enter at will later. And the Macho Man Principle is still not in play... Ahmed is eliminated from the match.

-Bart Gunn is in the match for less than a minute before Austin tosses him, but he manages an impressive TWO botches in his limited time to work with (fudges a Fameasser, and screws up his own elimination).

-Steve Austin has two periods on just waiting on schmucks after going on tears, and they are both classic. The first one sees him sitting on the turnbuckle and exaggeratedly looking at his wrist as if to check the time.

-So many Mexicans-on-loan this match, but one of them is the renowned Mil Mascaras, which is nice to see, even if he was well past his best days here. Eventually, Mil takes out both Pierroth and Latin Lover (because in wrestling, blacks and Mexicans only ever fight or befriend their own kind), and then leaps off the top to continue attacking them. Lots of self-eliminating so far this year...

-After Farooq enters, Ahmed reappears to attack him using the most clumsy strikes you can imagine with the world's most unwieldy 2x4 (seriously... it's about 5 or 6 foot long, and Ahmed looks like a small child trying to use to use an adult baseball bat). After Farooq and Ahmed brawl out of the ring, Austin is AGAIN left alone in the ring to make short work of guys like Savio Vega and Jesse James.

-Austin's reaction to Bret Hart's music at #21 is PRICELESS. His eyes bulge wide, and he covers his head with his hands. It's so cartoonish and over-the-top, but he sells it so damn well.

-In an underrated moment of entertainment, Jerry Lawler enters at #22. He is so short-lived in the ring, he starts a sentence ("It takes a king..."), enters, gets tossed by Bret, rejoins commentary, and finishes his sentence ("...to know a king"). Lawler really pushes home the humor of the moment the rest of the way by either forgetting or ignoring that this ever happened, saying stuff like "Well if I were in there this year...". Ross would remind him that, in fact, he was in there, and Lawler would act genuinely befuddled at his comments.

-No reaction at ALL to Rocky Maivia's entrance. Oh, how little we all knew.

-Thankfully, Jim Ross astutely clears up all of our confusion when he decides to just throw out there that Terry Funk and Flash Funk are unrelated.

-There is some legit great star-power in the ring late, with Austin, Vader, Bret, Undertaker, Mick Foley, Terry Funk, "Diesel", and Rocky all in the ring together at one point. Granted, Rocky was a nothing here but still...

-So yeah... Fake Diesel has a ridiculously long run here, even popping into the FINAL THREE.

-The fans ERUPT for Bret eliminating Austin, but the refs, of course, don't see it while breaking up a Terry Funk/Mankind brawl. This leads to, in my opinion, the best ending to a Rumble EVER, as Steve sneaks back in, dumps a brawling Undertaker and Vader, then eliminates Bret Hart. There are a lot of Rumble gimmicks they've overdone, but this has stood as one-of-a-kind for years (at least in terms of the guy doing it actually winnig).

-Post-Match, Bret really turns on the Crybaby switch that would become his character the rest of his WWE career. He accosts Vince at ringside and just generally acts like a little bitch.

-Funny side note... Austin is stripped of his title shot at 'Mania for his action, and since Shawn drops the belt due to his knee injury, the next Pay Per View is called Final Four and features a four-way match for the belt between Bret, Austin, Undertaker, and Vader since they were the last guys left after Austin's elimination. Why don't you just scroll up a bit and tell me what was wrong with this premise?

All in all, I dug this Rumble. Austin was TERRIFIC throughout, I loved the ending, and the Final Five were all pretty good (considering even the least impressive of them would be repackaged into a great character). This was really the first Rumble of the Attitude Era (more-or-less), and it pretty easily surpassed anything before it save for one.

Rankings Thus Far
1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10
2. 1997 (Austin I) - 8/10
3. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
4. 1996 (Michaels II) - 5/10
5. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
6. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
7. 1994 (Hart/Luger) - 4/10
8. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10
9. 1995 (Michaels I) - 2/10
10. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10
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Jabroniville

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #37 on: February 04, 2015, 08:14:41 AM »

Yeah, Fake Diesel got SCREWED. He should have totally demanded a shot in that match. Though it seems like he was screwed because he was tossed by a LEGAL guy in Bret Hart.

Austin's run is fantastic, and his comedic reactions helped make him increasingly-popular and a megastar. Funny, because they COMPLETELY copied his run from what Diesel did earlier. But it nearly always works- that's why it's great to have mid-tier losers in Rumbles.

Bret really plays "Whiny Ass" very well. The problem is, that's kind of his real personality when he tastes injustice (he acted the same way when he was supposed to be a babyface against British Bulldog). But it's effective given that he's SUPPOSED to be increasingly-disliked. He's still not as bitchy as Hogan, who in addition to being self-righteous and whiny about being screwed, was a giant hypocrite at the same time.
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Not BAMF

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #38 on: February 05, 2015, 01:29:47 AM »

WAIT. I just realized: The only time "Razor Ramon" ever entered a Royal Rumble was when it was the fake Razor.

Huh.
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Jabroniville

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #39 on: February 05, 2015, 05:29:53 AM »

Yeah, I was just thinking about that. Closest Scott Hall got was when he invaded it to beat up on Jeff Jarrett or somebody one year.

Until 2015, neither Dudley Boy had ever entered, either. They were always busy in matches.
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Propeus The Fallen

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #40 on: February 05, 2015, 06:24:21 AM »

It was the Kid, Jab.
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pittfox

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #41 on: February 05, 2015, 08:33:05 AM »

1996: The Do-Over

The Participants

1. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
2. Henry Godwinn
3. Mr. Backlund
4. Jerry Lawler
5. Bob Holly (Finally rechristened Bob Holly, but still a NASCAR driver)
6. King Mabel
7. Jake Roberts (during his "I'm sober now, guys!" run which... sigh. Well, at least he's better NOW in 2015)
8. Dory Funk Jr.
9. Yokozuna
10. The Kid (another guy we missed a whole era on. We don't see Kid in the Rumble until his heel run)
11. Omori (He was totally my pick to win. I loved me some classic WWE Omori matches!)
12. Savio Vega
13. Vader
14. Doug Gilbert (Part of WWE's talent swap with USWA)
15. Swat Team Guy #1 (Seriously... they don't even name them. Just... "That's one of the Swat Team!")
16. Swat Team Guy #2 (...sigh.)
17. Owen Hart
18. Shawn Michaels
19. Hakushi
20. Tatanka
21. Aldo Montoya (He lasted a full year+?)
22. Diesel
23. Kama
24. The Ringmaster
25. Barry Horowitz (Ooohhhh yeah. I forgot this guy's push. Or, rather, temporary moment as a "name")
26. "Make A Difference!" Fatu
27. Isaac Yankem
28. Marty Janetty
29. The British Bulldog
30. Duke Droese

Final Four
4th - The British Bulldog (elim by Shawn)
3rd - Kama (elim by Diesel)
2nd - Diesel (elim by Shawn)
WINNER - Shawn Michaels

Notes/Thoughts

-The announcers this year are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect, which... I don't ever remember their being a prominent announce team ever, but okay.

-That said, Perfect gets a classic heel line chuckle early when Henry Godwinn (who had some GOOFY ass ring music, btw) does a "hog call", and Curt mentions he saw three girls rush up to the front row.

-Mr. Backlund comes out, and Perfect notes that Mr. Backlund went to Princeton, but Vince quickly shuts that down as untrue. Sure, but that Godwinn guy REALLY had a pig farm, huh?

-Hey, this is the first year that everyone (not just the first two entrants) gets his ring music played to accompany his appearance. I guess it's not the biggest deal in the world, but I always thought it was a nice touch.

-Ah, one of my favorite names in pro wrestling accompanies Mabel to the ring. "Sir Mo". I'm pretty sure it is a monarchy law that no one named Mo can ever be knighted.

-Upon his entrance, Jake Roberts just chucks his snake straight into the ring to let it slither around and freak everyone out. Lawler flips his lid and flees, hiding under the ring for the next half hour or so until Shawn digs him out. What's more, even all these years later, "Jake teases the DDT" is still big booking... and the fans STILL chant "DDT! DDT!"

-In a stat I haven't actually kept track of, but FEELS right, the Rumble doesn't see a single person eliminated until after the NINTH MAN enters (Yokozuna in this case). That has to have at least BEEN a record.

-Royal Rumbles LOVE Fat Guy Standoffs, and we have another one here as Mabel and Yokozuna square off. It dawns on me how probably the single most overspammed move of the Fat Guy Standoff is the avalanche, but it's played really well here, as Henry Godwinn was actually BEHIND Mabel during the Avalanches, and NO ONE KNEW. You just see him squirt out after Mabel falls out of the corner. On the plus side, he is now more ready if his hogs start charging him.

-This is one of the few Rumbles where I'm going to comment on the actual MATCH FLOW because it is so poor here. There is a lot--A LOT--of "lazy walkin' around" this year, and it's especially notable when one camera angle catches two or three guys just slowly moping around the ropes. The pace picks up later, but it's deathly slow and boring in the early-to-mid portions of the match.

-Vince and Perfect keep pimping the Superstar Line where you could call and get a juicy tidbit about who is going to enter the ring next. For one thing... god, I had forgotten all about wrestling's age of having charge lines to call and get "scoops". For another... how would you like to waste your money to call and be told "Hey there, WWF fan! Hold onto your couch because the next man up is DOUG GILBERT! Will the Royal Rumble ever be the same once DOUG GILBERT enters?!"

-It's funny... this year is hardly a world conquering array of talent, but after 1995, this almost seems like an All-Star Rumble.

-LOL... Jake Roberts FINALLY hits a Royal Rumble DDT (I'm not sure he ever advanced past teasing them in the past), but is then immediately pitched by Vader. Ah well, the fans went nuts for the DDT, at least.

-Vader and Yokozuna, both managed by Jim Cornette, have a few confrontations this Rumble in-between teaming up, but their first one sees Cornette go nuts and jump up on the ring apron to tell them to knock it off. After they settle this dispute, they settle into a routine of double-teaming Savio Vega for, like, a while. A WHILE. I started feeling bad for Savio after a bit.

-Owen comes out and instantly gets his tires pumped by commentary for being the guy to shelve Michaels for a while. I'll be honest... I totally bit on that episode of Raw and thought the whole thing was legit.

-Vader and Yokozuna come to blows AGAIN, this time near the ropes, and it allows Shawn to pretty easily flip them both over. Vader loses his shit over this, gets back into the ring, and eliminates EVERYBODY. Like, in a few seconds, he gets everyone over the top. Makes you wonder why he didn't do that earlier. In another case of "The Rumble's Rules Are What We Want Them To Be", everyone Vader tossed is allowed back in to keep going. Which is super lame because it completely the negates the one big thing Vader was allowed to do. Speaking of which, why were the rules to Royal Rumbles so casually enforced?

Managers are barred from ringside... some years.

You're eliminated if you throw yourself over the top rope... unless it's 1992 and Randy Savage does it.

And if people not in the match or already eliminated throw you out, you're still out... except in this instance.

Seriously... it's maddening. I feel like Sisyphus trying to figure out the inner workings of this shit. Every time I think I'm close, they change something for ONE YEAR.

-Vince says "It's the Royal Rumble... it doesn't have to make sense!". Fuck you. No. That is NOT an excuse for continuity errors. Don't you give me that, you smug hairball!

-The announcers make sure we NEVER FORGET Shawn is dealing with a traumatic head injury!

-Hunter gets the Iron Man run here, lasting from #1 to after #25 enters the match.

-Classic Austin, even as he was pissing time away as The Ringmaster: After flattening HBK, Austin mocks Shawn's little pose. Even a stupid gimmick and name couldn't hide this guy for long. He does get eliminated off camera unceremoniously, though.

-Shawn wins by hitting Diesel with Sweet Chin Music RIGHT after Big Daddy Cool pitched Kama. They tease another split between them, but Diesel just gives Shawn a high-five instead, so Shawn could go back to his strip-tease celebration (he was ALREADY doing that?)

Rankings Thus Far
1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10
2. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
3. 1996 (Michaels II) - 5/10
4. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
5. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
6. 1994 (Hart/Luger) - 4/10
7. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10
8. 1995 (Michaels I) - 2/10
9. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10

Fun fact about this is that Stone Cold was supposed to have a long run in this match last towards the end, but ended up falling out on accident. He said he had to make eye contact with Shawn on the way out to let him know he was out.
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Not BAMF

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #42 on: February 06, 2015, 01:37:39 AM »

1998: The Attitude

The Participants

1. Cactus Jack
2. Chainsaw Charlie (This was... a weird gimmick. They openly acknowledged it was Terry Funk, and OBVIOUSLY he never got to chainsaw anyone... so what was the point? And why did he just wear pantyhose over his head like a mask WHEN THEY OPENLY NOTED HE WAS TERRY FUNK)
3. Tom Brandi
4. The Rock (in just a crazy early draw for him against a ton of midcarders early on)
5. Mosh
6. Phineas Godwinn
7. 8-Bull
8. Blackjack Bradshaw (were the Blackjacks still a team by here? This is a LOT of tag guys early on)
9. Owen Hart
10. Steve Blackman
11. D. Lo Brown
12. Kurrgan
13. Marc Mero
14. Ken Shamrock
15. Thrasher
16. Mankind (Heh... say what you will, I thought the Three Faces Of Foley in this Rumble was brilliant)
17. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust (Oh shoot... I forgot all about Goldust's weird S&M gimmick thing with Luna. He's in bondage-y gear here)
18. Jeff Jarrett
19. The Honkey Tonk Man
20. Ahmed Johnson
21. Mark Henry
22. no show (it took me some digging here, but this was supposed to be Skull, 8-Ball's partner in DOA. The Boricquas apparently incapacitated him because they mistook him for Austin)
23. Kama Mustafa (I had no idea the Kama gimmick lasted this long. He made his first Kama appearance in 1996, and is still at it in 1998? He had to have been Kama longer than he was The Godfather)
24. Stone Cold Steve Austin
25. Henry Godwinn
26. Savio Vega
27. Farooq
28. Dude Love
29. Chainz (No Crush. Sadface)
30. Vader

The Final Four
4th - Dude Love (eliminated by Farooq)
3rd - Farooq (eliminated by The Rock)
2nd - The Rock (eliminated by Austin)
WINNER - Otto Von Ruthless

Notes/Thoughts

-Back to two minute intervals! Don't worry, I'm sure it will change in a year.

-We are fully fledged into The Attitude era here, as Jack and Charlie start the Rumble off by filling the ring with chairs and just go straight into trying to murder each other. Since they were a tag team at the time, it was a nice homage to Demolition in the early years, but no real fan ever thought the sight of Funk and Jack wrestling was exactly new.

-Nothing is more evident of how fast time moves than seeing Rocky Maivia in 1997 as a vanilla babyface with no reaction at all and then seeing The Rock in 1998 was a SUPER over cocky heel IC champ. He did nothing in 1997, but here, he gets a great iron man run from #5 to the final two.

-Jim Ross schools me with some wrestling history early on with "The rivalry between the Headbangers and the Godwinns is well-documented!" ...Is it, Jim? Is it, really, though?

-Owen is assailed by Jeff Jarret en route to the ring, and I openly yelled at my TV, "What would The Blue Blazer think?!" Owen would never make his entrance due to the attack.

-Kurrgan gets a huge monster rub here, as the announcers are just in awe of him and act like he's been invulnerable to this point. As a matter of fact, when Shamrock enters, he takes Kurrgan down to a big pop, and afterwards, it takes a crowd to eliminate the big guy. I don't really remember Kurrgan getting a noteworthy Monster Push, so I'm guessing this is early in his career here before he was watered down to blah.

-Jeff Jarrett's turn comes up, and I'm reminded he was with Cornette and was some level of NWA champion. I am suddenly full of hope that I'll see THE NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS in this match! I irrationally dug those guys, to the point where my buddy and I changed the name of our roller hockey team to "The New Midnight Express" since we were the captains. I'm going to segue here to reminisce about how there was a local college radio station that played a program dedicated to pro wrestling at, like, midnight on Friday. We would call in and dedicate songs to our team that we would tape off the radio and play as we practiced or before a game. The DJ always said we should play against the Calgary Hitmen.

-ANYWAY, Owen returns to attack Jarrett once JJ is in the ring, and Owen is then allowed to remain in the match. Nice touch. It's short-lived (and DAMN did Owen always have shitty Rumble appearances) as HHH and Chyna would come down to eliminate him.

-After Kama enters, D. Lo goes straight to attacking him, and he has, at that point, attacked every other member of the Nation of Domination. Fucking clever, D.

-Can I mention that I dug the Gang War era? I know I'm not SUPPOSED to have, and that it was shitty and just led to a bunch of overbooked brawls, but... I don't know. I kind of liked it. The Boricquas sucked, but the Nation and DOA and DX were all cool.

-Stone Cold's music hits at #24, and the ENTIRE RING stops fighting to gather together and WAIT FOR HIM. Austin, of course, already has this scouted (though there's precisely zero reason why he should have), and comes in the back door behind everyone and tosses out Marc Mero (still with Sable, but already in his heel run, which I really ate up. I remember my buddies and I unapologetically cheering the heck out of Mero against Sable).

-Lawler's random anti-Stone Cold venom is funny here, because it leads to willful heel ignorance, which I always get a kick out of. The camera blatantly follows Austin falling BETWEEN the ropes to the floor, and Lawler points out "He's out! See, both feet hit!" Sigh. I miss old Lawler.

-The Rock hits the Peoples' Elbow to NO ovation. It was still a work-in-progress here.

-The Rock's superman push here is even more impressive when you factor in that he had a decent match with Ken Shamrock earlier in the night. Rock was really out to earn that paycheck. Or grab that brass ring, if you will.

-The Nation of Domination is disgustingly bad at teamwork. They eventually get ALL FIVE MEMBERS legal in the match at one time after Farooq enters, but they do NOTHING with it. Actually, they go one better, and pretty much all fight each other as much as anyone else. Farooq venting some steam on Rocky made sense, but... why would D. Lo attack Mark Henry at all?

-Austin and The Rock end up as the Final Two, which was basically WWE's version of telling us "Welcome to the next three years, fans!" Austin pulls off the third repeat victory in the Rumble's short history, though it also remains, IIRC, the last repeat to this day, 17 years later. Huh.

Rankings Thus Far
1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10

2. 1998 (Austin II) - 8/10
3. 1997 (Austin I) - 8/10

4. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
5. 1996 (Michaels II) - 5/10

6. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
7. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
8. 1994 (Hart/Luger) - 4/10

9. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10

10. 1995 (Michaels I) - 2/10
11. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10
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Jabroniville

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #43 on: February 06, 2015, 02:36:30 AM »

Yeah, the whole "welcome to the future" ending here is part of why fans were so cheesed off by Reigns/Show/Kane.

Kama was gone for over a year before returning in his old gimmick with a new last name. He'd become the Godfather shortly, as the Nation fell apart.

Kurrgan's push would be over shortly, as they saw no upside in a worker that poor.
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Propeus The Fallen

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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #44 on: February 06, 2015, 02:43:30 AM »

I still say the Black Hart was one of the greatest gimmicks that was squandered. Heck he even had a cool shirt. "...And then there was Owen." Flippin' Triple H. Even back before he was pushed as a main eventer--he ruined everything good!
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