NotBAMF watched all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to! (2017!)


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2015, 05:44:37 PM »
I always liked the Undertaker tanking Kerry's discus punch there.

Also how it took both members of L.O.D. to eliminate him

Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2015, 12:40:44 AM »
It isn't until the next Rumble where you can hear the fans get sick of Hogan.

And what's wrong with the Nasty Boys. I thought they were always a fun brawling team. Especially in WCW. That and I liked their theme music. :)

I didn't really think much of this rumble. It was okay, but nothing stood out to me. Next year on the other hand...


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2015, 12:05:01 PM »
1992: The Fairness to Flair

The Participants
1. The British Bulldog
2. Ted Dibiase
3. Ric Flair
4. Jerry Sags
5. Haku
6. Shawn Michaels (In his first appearance as the heel Heartbreak Kid)
8. The Barbarian
9. Kerry Von Erich
10. Repo Man (at least, I think it was Repo Man. I could barely catch a glimpse of him, he was so sneaky)
11. Greg Valentine
12. Nikolai Voloff
13. The Big Bossman
14. Hercules
15. Roddy Piper
16. Jake Roberts (also making his first Rumble appearance as a heel)
17. Jim Duggan
18. Irwin R Schyster
19. Jimmy Snuka
20. The Undertaker
21. Randy Savage
22. The Berserker (Well, there's no more Bad News Brown, so he gets the "This guy is made for this match!" kiss of death commentary)
23. Virgil
24. Colonel Mustafa (Which is, I just noticed, two letters away from being Colonel Mustard)
25. Rick Martel
26. Hulk Hogan
27. Skinner
28. Sergeant Slaughter
29. Sid Justice
30. The Warlord (The very most professional RR jobber that ever was. If you added up all the time this guy spent in Rumbles, would it even come to 5 minutes?)

Final Four
4th - Randy Savage (eliminated by Sid)
3rd - Hulk Hogan (eliminated by Sid)
2nd - Sid Justice (eliminated by Hogan and Flair)
Winner - Ric Flair


-The first Royal Rumble that actually meant something, and for that matter, the one that meant the most to this day. After Hogan and The Undertaker swapped the World Title in a few interference-marred matches, Figurehead Jack Tunney held the title in abeyance and decided the winner of the Rumble would be crowned the new champion.

-Commentary this year is Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. I would say INARGUABLY the best commentary team in professional wrestling's history. And they REALLY shine tonight.

-So Heenan was at this point quasi-managing Flair, and he makes mention of how he had an incredible sum of money riding on the Nature Boy. Flair then entered in the third spot of the match, and that sets up the entire rest of the Royal Rumble. That's actually the only bad part of the match is that it is SO entirely focused on Flair that there is little else to mention other than bits on Flair and the commentary.

-Speaking of which, Heenan is great when Flair is brought out at #3, but Monsoon might actually be better. He openly mocks Heenan over the draw and just BURIES Flair's chances of winning. He just really lays into his broadcast partner. Heenan then apologizes that he won't be able to remain his usual objective self due to his support of Flair, and Monsoon laughs that off.

-It's just absolutely impossible to catch ALL the Heenanism in this match or all of Monsson's bites back at him. It's a match you've just got to see and hear for yourself. Some of Heenan's best moments are when he turns into a sulking teenager ("Shut up! Leave me alone!") and when he keeps repeating throughout the match "This isn't fair to Flair!".

-For anyone keeping track, this Rumble sees a return to the rules being managers barred from ringside. They really waffled on this despite managers having played absolutely no role in any previous Royal Rumbles.

-Shawn, as a mentioned, debuted as a heel here, and I don't know if he is trying to emulate or show up Flair or what, but he has some ridiculously over-the-top selling during his tenure in the match. It's weird to think that Shawn actually toned down his selling at some point.

-After #14 comes out, the ring empties except for Flair, and in a brilliant moment, Bobby Heenan cries out "Flair wins it! Flair is the champion!", only for Gorilla to remind him there are 16 more guys left to appear.

-Heenan has famously hilarious commentary on Roddy Piper in a stretch of a few seconds. After Piper saves Flair from a DDT (Still teasing those as a heel, Jake?), Bobby renounces every terrible thing he's ever said about Piper and promises to call it a kilt from now on. Flair then locks in the Figure Four on Jake, Piper breaks it up, Heenan denigrates him again as a "skirt-wearing freak!".

-For no discernible reason, Undertaker goes right after Flair when he comes out, and Heenan goes apoplectic. Just more great stuff.

-Randy Savage enteres, and is legendary feud with Jake The Snake continues here over Jake's abuses of Elizabeth. Savage tosses Jake, then throws himself over the top after him. They brawl on the outside for a bit before Undertaker comes to Jake's rescue. 'Taker throws Savage back in the ring, and even Monsoon or Heenan are confused as to why Savage is allowed to continue. It's written off as "Well, no one propelled him over, so he was not actually eliminated", even though that has never been a rule before or since.

-Just a random funny moment late as the ring is filled with guys, Jim Duggan just wanders away from all the action to go to the camera-side of the ring, look out at the fans, give a tumbs-up, and start a USA chant. God, I loved Duggan some times. Such a weirdo.

-Well, if there's one thing this match is famous for besides Heenan's commentary and Flair's resilience, it's the ending. After having dumped allies like Randy Savage (1989) and Ultimate Warrior (1990) from behind when they were in peril, Hogan gets tossed in a similar predicament by Sid Justice. Of course, Hogan views this as GRIEVOUS INJUSTICE, and then HELPS THE HEEL WIN by grabbing Sid's arm and pulling him halfway over the top so that Flair can easily slip him over (even though Ric botches it a bit). This would lead to a Hogan/Sid feud where Hogan was somehow cast as the good guy to Sid's malevolence, but the fans would go on to shit all over that concept and remain at least partially behind Sid.

1. 1992 (Flair)
2. 1989 (Studd)
3. 1990 (Hogan I)
4. 1991 (Hogan II)
5. 1988 (Duggan)

Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2015, 12:44:03 PM »
I think my favorite part of the commentary that no one mentions is that Heenan actually wanted Flair to just give up so he wouldn't suffer any more injuries. The Brain put everything he owned on Flair winning, and he actually put Flair first. That's the only time I can think of where The Brain, at least in WWE, thought of someone else first.

And yeah, that's when the fans got sick of Hogan being a prick to his friends. Say what you will about Sid, but the WWE fans loved the Master and Ruler of the World

And Repo Man is awesome. :)

And...Repo Man. I loved this character. He was just so over the top. Him just sneaking around and able to get the jump on other wrestlers was fun.


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2015, 02:21:19 PM »
Heenan in that Rumble is the single greatest performance in wrestling history.

(The Barbarian enters the Rumble)
Monsoon (just being a dick, having fun torturing Bobby): *ominously* Barbarian doesn't like Flair...
Heenan: The Barbarian doesn't like ANYBODY. When I managed him he barely liked ME! Why do you think they call him the Barbarian? He's not a hairdresser on his day off!
Bobby: Virgil just came in, he's number 23, right?
Gorilla: That's right!
Bobby: Just think, who knows how many bags he's gone through in the back!
Gorilla: Will you be serious?!
(Roddy Piper saves Flair from a Jake Roberts DDT)
Bobby: I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
(Not long after, Piper attacks Flair)
Bobby: You no-good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!

Or when Heenan literally started bargaining with Jesus to let Flair win "I promise- I'll be a better person!"

Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #20 on: January 25, 2015, 03:22:04 PM »
And Heenan at the end when Flair won was great. That's one cool thing the WWE used to do for their old colosium videos: when they did a battle royal the announcers would bet a meal on who won--and Heenan always won much to the chagrin of Savage and Jim Ross. :)

And another time The Brain is whistling HBK's theme music and annoying Savage.
Savage: Stop it, brother
Heenan continues

The Brain: Ow! Savage!


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2015, 05:55:26 AM »
1993: The Monster

1. Ric Flair (Actually drawing WORSE than he did in 1992)
2. Bob Backlund
3. Papa Shango
4. Ted Dibiase (Consistently early in these things)
5. Brian Knobbs
6. Virgil
7. Jerry Lawler
8. Max Moon (Holy crap... I forgot about this guy. Did ANYONE think a guy in this get up was ever getting over? Anyway, this is not the Konnan version)
9. Tenryu (Or Teneru or... or something)
10. Mr. Perfect
11. Skinner
12. Koko B Ware (in the ludicrous HIGH ENERGY get-up)
13. Samu
14. The Berserker
15. The Undertaker
16. Terry Taylor (Post-Rooster)
17. Damien Demento (Seeing Demento and Moon on here remind me this is the beginning of Monday Night Raw era)
18. Irwin R Schyster
19. Tatanka (You know what was weird? I DESPISED Tatanka as a kid. Just hated him. I was glad he never went anywhere, but that's weird because he was over)
20. Jerry Saggs
21. Typhoon
22. Fatu
23. Earthquake
24. Carlos Colon (Now THAT'S cool)
25. Tito Santana (in an interesting little fact I was keeping track of, Tito is the LAST GUY left from the first Rumble to have competed in every single one to this point)
26. Rick Martel
27. Yokozuna
28. Owen Hart (plucky babyface)
29. Repo Man
30. Randy Savage

The Final Four
4th - Rick Martel
3rd - Bob Backlund
2nd - Randy Savage
WINNER - Yokozuna


-I know this is only the 6th Rumble, so it's not too surprising, but there are a couple of notable firsts this year: For starters, this is the first Royal Rumble to be worth a title shot at Wrestlemania, probably because the 1992 Rumble was so impressive in a small part because of how important it felt. Second, this is surprisingly the first Rumble with a repeat announcing team in Monsoon and Heenan. It would also be their last before Gorilla was moved up to Commissioner and Heenan left for WCW. It's disheartening to know I'll be losing this team after this year already.

-This is pretty early on during Bob Backlund's return run, and it would be nearly two years from this time before he'd win the title from Bret, making me think... what was he doing that whole time? Just... being around? I don't remember that at all. Anyway, apparently Bob had no entrance music.

-Bob Backlund is 43 at this point, and the announcers keep making mention of his age, as if it is some great medical feat that he can lace up the boots and compete. Heenan in particular keeps ragging on Bob about his age. NO ONE brings up that Ric Flair is 6 months OLDER than Backlund. Which makes me realize... Bob initially retired young.

-An early moment of happiness for me was seeing guys brawl outside and noticing that one of the ringside referees was Bill Alfonso. I spent a few minutes wishing he had a whistle and could tell us that he would call it "right down the middle, daddy!"

-This would be during Mr. Perfect's first ever run as a face in WWE, having turned two or three months prior to help Randy Savage fight Flair and Razor Ramon. He hits the ring and IMMEDIATELY goes after Flair. In kind of a funny sight, everyone else in the match STOPS WHAT THEY'RE DOING to just watch Perfect and Flair go at it for a second or two.

-It would end up being a rough 24 hours for the Nature Boy. He would be eliminated here by his nemesis, Mr. Perfect (to a GIANT pop from the crowd). His longevity record he set the year before would surprisingly be broken at the end of the night. And the following night on Raw, he would drop a Loser Leaves Town match to Mr. Perfect (which was, as a young 12-year-old wrestling fan, one of the greatest matches I ever saw).

-Skinner, at one point, skins the cat. Obviously.

-Perfect dumps Lawler, and then is revenge-elim'ed by him. They have a big brawl on the outside, and Monsoon declares them "enemies for life", which amused me because I'm pretty sure NO angle ever came of this.

-After Terry Taylor is dispatched of almost immediately, The Undertaker is left alone in the ring, and it is at this point that Giant Gonzalez debuts. Yeah... good times. Good, furry-bodysuited times. Anyway, Gonzalez effortlessly eliminates and pummels Undertaker for a while. So long, in fact, that while this beatdown is happening, both Damien Demento AND Irwin R Schyster have their numbers come up. They just stand around outside and watch it.

-Gonzalez leaves, his mission fulfilled (apparently he was getting revenge for Harvey Whippleman since Taker defeated Kamala), and Paul Bearer has to rush to ringside to revive a battered Undertaker with THE POWER OF THE URN.

-Post-Gonzalez, the ring fills up with midcarders (Demento, IRS, Sags, Tatanka, and Backlund is still there) so we can give the fans a little cool-down period.

-Fatu debuts in a Rumble, and if you would have told me that one of the Headshrinkers would go on to have the career that Fatu had, I would never have believed you as a kid.

-FAT GUY STANDOFF part I, as Earthquake goes straight after Typhoon upon entering. Doesn't make a lot of sense, but whatever. 'Quake pretty easily gets rid of his tag team partner.

-FAT GUY STANDOFF, part 2 when Yokozuna enters and is targeted by Earthquake. Yoko ends up getting Earthquake out with just a terrible belly-to-belly.

-When Randy Savage comes out at #30, he is announced as a two-time WWF champion, which shocked me. He'd only won the belt twice? That's inconceivable in the modern era. He'd have been champ at least 8 or 9 times at this stage in his career nowadays.

-After a lukewarm first HOUR, the fans actually go a bit nuts for Backlund being in the final three. He doesn't get far against Yokozuna, but he does break Flair's Iron Man record and would go on to be the standard in that regard for over a decade. And this was STILL over a year before WWF had any idea what to do with Bob.

-It's funny... I never questioned it as a youngster, but when I look at Yokozuna now... he doesn't look even a LITTLE BIT Japanese.

-It all comes down to Randy and Yoko, and... sigh. What might have been? I'll admit to being a Yokozuna fan, don't get me wrong, but how awesome would another Savage run have been? And Savage vs Hart at Wrestlemania? Can't even wrap my mind around how great that would have been. But it was not to be. Savage does well, and he's the first guy to get Yoko off his feet. He even hits the Elbow. In a nonsensical moment, Savage GOES FOR THE PIN after the elbow, but it allows for a GREAT showing when Yoko kicks out so hard, it sends Savage over the top rope and to the floor.

-I don't really disagree with Yoko winning. He was the fresh, young monster heel, and the PLAN was just to feed him to Hogan, anyway. Of course, they would have to abort that and put the belt back on Yoko, where he would hold it for FAR TOO LONG. But if not for Yoko, there would be NO PRECEDENT of "monster" guys winning the Rumble. So every time an announcer talks up a guy like Big Show's chances, you know it's at least possible...

1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10
2. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
3. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
4. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
5. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10
6. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2015, 02:41:20 AM »
Yoko winning blew my mind as a kid- I assumed the other kids were lying to me about the ending the next day at school.

Bob being treated like a senior citizen at 42 is hilarious, given how old some wrestlers are these days. And yeah, Backlund retired at like Daniel Bryan's current age, thanks to being heartbroken over not being Champion anymore. Notice how in all the mid-80s stuff, Backlund is GONE.

As for what Bob was doing until he was Champ- it was standard bullshit. Midcard nothing stuff- he lost to Razor Ramon the WrestleMania after this Rumble in a nothing contest that wasn't even based around a feud. Then he started slowly going insane, killing jobbers with the Crossface Chickenwing and then staring at his hands.

This is just a pathetic Rumble, though- you can see the starpower dying. A rookie wins the thing, and the rest is faded Main Eventers they're not pushing anymore (Savage, Flair). Armies of Jobbers & Tag Team wrestlers coming in as Ring Filler instead of top-tier guys. This is why the era was so bad for the WWF- all their Main Event talent had disappeared, leaving them with almost nobody.

And yes, Savage should have been pushed around this time. He was the most over guy on the card on nearly every PPV in which he wrestled- and he was the freaking CHAMPION only a few months before!

The long Titles reigns back then had the combined effect of A) Making Titles actually MEAN SOMETHING, and B) giving guys a lot fewer reigns overall. Savage is a 2-time WWF Champion, and only won the WCW Title once or twice, despite being one of the biggest superstars in history. That seems nuts compared to today's insanely-short repeated runs. Did you know that John Cena is 1 or 2 belts away from hitting Ric Flair's record? That's disgusting.


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2015, 10:58:49 AM »

This is just a pathetic Rumble, though- you can see the starpower dying. A rookie wins the thing, and the rest is faded Main Eventers they're not pushing anymore (Savage, Flair). Armies of Jobbers & Tag Team wrestlers coming in as Ring Filler instead of top-tier guys. This is why the era was so bad for the WWF- all their Main Event talent had disappeared, leaving them with almost nobody.

I've watched up through 1997 at this point, and 1995 was the real low point. You can look at the ENTIRE 30 man roster think that MAYBE 4 guys had a realistic chance of winning it. The rest of it is absolute garbage. It was painful to watch.

Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2015, 01:57:07 PM »
You just don't understand how awesome Well Dunn truly was. :)


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2015, 08:00:34 PM »
1994: The Duocracy

The Participants

1. Scott Steiner
2. Samu
3. Rick Steiner (I know what you're thinking! And I was thinking it, too! But no... Fatu is not imminent)
4. Kwang
5. Owen Hart (entering to MAJOR HEAT from the fans after he kicked Bret Hart's leg out of his leg earlier in the night)
6. Bart Gunn
7. Diesel
8. Bob Backlund
9. Billy Gunn
10. Virgil
11. Randy Savage (For some reason I assumed he was already gone by this point to join Hogan in WCW, but that was still months away here)
12. Jeff Jarrett
13. Crush
14. Doink
15. Bam Bam Bigelow
16. Mabel
17. Sparky Plugg (I can't recall whether he was Thurman Plugg or Bob Holly here... I think he was still Thurman)
18. Shawn Michaels
19. Mo
20. Greg Valentine
21. Tatanka
22. Kabuki
23. Lex Luger
24. Tenryu (Oh, we are totally in that era where they were rounding out Rumbles with random luchadors or Japanese guys that Vince had on loan)
25. [no-show] (I guess this was SUPPOSED to be Bastion Booger, but he got sick backstage and couldn't compete)
26. Rick Martel
27. Bret Hart
28. Fatu (he missed his calling in the Top 5)
29. Marty Janetty
30. Adam Bomb (and HOLY GOD does Vince MARK OUT for him on commentary. When Bomb is revealed at #30, Vince does everything short of running into the ring and advising everyone else to go home. I'm pretty sure he says "ADAM BOMB WINS THE ROYAL RUMBLE!" before Bomb even makes it to the ring)

Final Four
3rd - Shawn Michaels and Fatu tie here, as they were essentially eliminated simultaneously by Bret and Lex)
1st - Bret Hart and Lex Luger (the TIE Rumble)


-The Rumble is down to 90 seconds between entrants here. I really don't care for that. I think two minutes (give or take, because you know they fudge it the longer the Rumble goes) is the ideal. It gives each guy enough time to have his moment and really integrate into the match. Especially in the early going, where these briefer delays feel so sudden.

-Vince McMahon and Ted DiBiase on commentary this year. And wow... Vince is TERRIBLE. I was never a fan who just dislike Vince's commentary, and I always thought he had a certain flavor, but he's awful here. He just oversells EVERYTHING, and does not have the chemistry with Ted that he had with Jesse The Body.

-This year the Countdown Clock has a sponsor, Casio. Jesus, there's a company I haven't thought about in, oh, 21 years.

-The Steiners team up to easily eliminate Samu, and there's a gnarly spot where Samu is flying over the ropes and gets his head tied up in the top two. I want to say it was intentional given Samu's reaction (he waves his arms around for effect rather than immediately reaching up to free himself), but it is pretty nasty looking either way.

-Rick Steiner sells Kwang's green mist like it's superdeath. After Kwang mists him, Steiner is helpless for at least a minute or two before he's finally eliminated. He just goes to the ground and writhes like a cobra is latched to his eyeball.

-Diesel just start chucking fools and clears the ring upon his arrival, and the Royal Rumble gets its first REAL Dominance Push. He just keeps tossing every new entry until Savage comes out and neutralizes him.

-An underrated feud is brought to the Royal Rumble as the newly villainous Crush enters and targets his former friend, Savage. The gist of this angle was that Crush was shelved by Yokozuna while Savage was on commentary. When Crush returned, he attacked the Macho Man because the latter never attempted to contact the former while he was hospitalized (for added effect, I recall Crush mentioning that Mr. Fuji and Yoko DID visit him, which makes it even better).

-There's a great monster heel segment of the mid-Rumble where the three guys in the ring are Diesel, Crush, and Bam Bam Bigelow, all going to town on each other. The next entrant is Mabel, and the ring is a glorious visage of angry giants (though Mabel was still a good guy here) all wailing on each other. What makes it even better is that, with the four of them in the ring, the next man out is fucking SPARKY PLUGG.

-Eventually it takes a whole crowd of guys to get Diesel over the top, and the fans respond very appreciatively to Diesel's performance here, with claps and cheers and chants. WWE was listening to that, and Big Daddy Cool would be World Champion by year's end.

-Apparently Crush was friends and allies with the two random Japanese dude? I don't remember that at all, and I was a big Crush fan.

-Lex Luger gets assaulted backstage by Kabuki and Tenryu a few turns before Lex's number is called, but he successfully no sells the shit out of that by hitting the ring like a greyhound when he's up.

-I just realized: We never saw the Hawaiian version of Crush or the Narcissist version of Luger in a Rumble.

-Vince and Ted put over Shawn's longevity several times late in the Rumble. The only bad part of that is that while they're doing it, Crush, Bam Bam, and friggin' Sparky Plugg had all been there longer. But at least they were outright telling us who had the bright future, which is nice.

-Bret reminds everyone what selling is SUPPOSED to be like after Lex refused. Hart hobbles to the ring like he just had a kneecap surgically removed due to Owen's post-match attack on him earlier in the evening.

-The match ends with the [in]famous Bret/Luger double elimination, which, to WWE's credit, they've only ripped off once since then (and handled it differently when they did). The ending goes on FOREVER, with both guys getting credit as the sole winner before it's finally decided "Ah, fuck it. They both win".

1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10
2. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
3. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
4. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
5. 1994 (Hart/Luger) - 4/10
6. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10
7. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10
« Last Edit: January 29, 2015, 08:03:35 PM by Not BAMF »


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #26 on: January 30, 2015, 08:37:01 PM »
1995: The Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Roster

Oh man. I've been waiting for this one...

The Participants

1. Shawn Michaels
2. Davey Boy Smith
3. Eli Blu
4. Duke Droese
5. Jimmy Del Ray
6. Seone (The Headshrinkers' version of Crush in Demolition. Also... The Barbarian. Like, just The Barbarian. He's The Barbarian)
7. Dr. Tom Prichard
8. Doink The Clown
9. Kwang
10. Rick Martel (He was STILL AROUND at this point? God, wow).
11. Owen Hart
12. Timothy Well
13. Bushwhacker Luke (Kinda surprised these guys were still floating around, too)
14. Jacob Blu
15. King Kong Bundy
16. Mo
17. Mabel
18. Bushwhacker Butch (Lord Jesus, deliver us from these shitty midcard tag teams)
19. Lex Luger
20. Mantaur (who I more remember from Santino Marella making a funny joke about a few years ago than I do as a wrestler)
21. Aldo Montoya
22. Henry Godwinn
23. Billy Gunn
24. Bart Gunn (Jesus, bookers. Everone gets one, but come on. That's twice)
25. Mr. Backlund
26. Steven Dunn
27. Dick Murdoch
28. Adam Bomb
29. Fatu
30. Crush

Yeah. Those are really the 30 guys. You might think I made some of them up, but... nope.

The Final Four

4th - Lex Luger (elim by Shawn)
3rd - Crush (elim by Bulldog)
2nd - The Britis Bulldog (elim by Shawn)
WINNER - Shawn Michaels

Actually a decent Final Four, all things considered.


-The wait time between entrances here is down to 60 SECONDS, which is just ludicrously short. Even when the ring is full of absolute drek, you still get overwhelmed when more of it comes seeping in so fast. Let's put this in perspective: Shawn and Davey Boy last from the beginning to the last two spots, and their final in-ring time is less than 40 minutes. They probably, even at this point, were BARELY in the top ten longest RR tenures ever.

-Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler on commentary, and it isn't long into this Rumble that I grow completely weary of Vince's "AND HE'S OUT! No he's not". He does it about 20 times per Rumble. Maybe more, if I bothered to count them.

-Funny moment early on (and you take what you can get from THIS Royal Rumble) where Shawn slams Seone's head into the turnbuckle to no effect (because ISLANDERS HAVE IMMORTAL HEADS is Official WWE Gimmick #15), and then Shawn comically looks back-and-forth from Seone to the turnbuckle like a god damn cartoon.

-It is safe to safe that entrants #3 through #10 are just the pits. I mean... wow. Just bad. It isn't until Owen comes out at #11 that we get a legitimate threat besides Shawn and Bulldog (and really... how LEGITIMATE of a threat was Davey Boy?)

-Owen, having interfered in Bret Hart's match earlier in the evening, gets assaulted by Bret en route to the ring and is then eliminated in 3 seconds. That's a proper use of one of the FOUR relevant guys in this entire match, yep.

-Duke Droese is eliminated right on top of Earl Hebner. I chuckled because it's that kind of match.

-Bushwhacker Luke is the last entrant before Davey and Shawn clear the ring back to where we started (just the two of them). And then, reminiscent of the #3 entrance, they are eventually joined by a Blu Brother (OH! Like the BLUES BROTHERS. Now I get it!)

-It's actually pretty impressive just how easily Lex tosses Mabel out of the ring. Good show of strength there.

-Yeah, 2014-2015 may have some of the worst writing and booking WWE history, but... the roster is a billion times better than this. We should really be more thankful we have guys like Rollins and Ambrose and Ziggler and Wyatt, etc.

-Oh, and Bret Hart decides to attack Mr. Backlund, as well. Good for him, I guess.

-And yeah... that's it. I mean... wow. I'll save this Rumble the indignity of being last place because we had the great win by Shawn, but... damn. This was REALLY BAD. Even the ending isn't great in retrospect, because Davey Boy LOOKS BACK like an idiot after throwing Shawn over to make sure Michaels has himself caught. But as a Shawn fan, I was all about this ending as an early teen. I really recalled this Rumble being... NOT insipidly bad. But that most have been all rose-colored glasses for Shawn's win.

1. 1992 (Flair) - 9/10
2. 1989 (Studd) - 5/10
3. 1993 (Yokozuna) - 4/10
4. 1990 (Hogan I) - 4/10
5. 1994 (Hart/Luger) - 4/10
6. 1991 (Hogan II) - 3/10
7. 1995 (Michaels I) - 2/10
8. 1988 (Duggan) - 2/10


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2015, 09:23:53 PM »
Yeah, this one was awful. And Vince is just the worst commentator ever- the worst part is, he thinks he's the BEST, and that's why he's always yelling at the actual commentators. He wants them to be more like him.

Every time Davey-Boy picks up Shawn in the Gorilla Press, I expect him to throw the bum out. Instead, he just plops him onto the mat. What an idiot.

Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2015, 09:42:41 PM »
I'll give Vince this: He's enthusiastic. He makes Well Dunn sound like they next great thing. Problem is...HE NEVER STOPS--THREE--No,no--TWO, just TWO! :)

And I'd put the 1988 ahead of this one. I mean...yeah, it had the end. But...dear lord it sucked until then.


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Re: Not BAMF watches all the Royal Rumble matches... so you don't have to!
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2015, 09:54:54 PM »
I was a British Bulldog fan back then for some reason, and I remember really wanted him to win that.  Especially being number 2 and lasting that long.