Herochat

how important is civility

therock

  • ********
  • 8753
  • +48/-65
    • View Profile
how important is civility
« on: October 17, 2018, 12:47:15 PM »
When should you go High..when they go low

And when should it be when they go Low..you kick them

Is civility helpfull or important. Does it win elections or lose it.

XerxesTWD

  • *****
  • 6635
  • +98/-26
  • You can't park here, buddy. Earth is closed today.
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2018, 03:30:09 PM »
It's incredibly important if you value relationships at all. Positive relationships are what make civilizations, families, companies, and countries thrive and last.

Negative relationships can deliver short term wins, but you pull that shit and people don't forget it. They'll pass down oral history, internet can pass down actual history and edited history, but if you go around burning people because you have a temporary advantage of some kind, it will come back to haunt you.

Only complete idiots don't know or acknowledge this, but sometimes those idiots get into positions of power and the poor have to relive this lesson the hard way. That doesn't only refer to Trump.

MTL76

  • ********
  • 10148
  • +1136/-119
  • "What if I know all your secrets, Your Eminence?"
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2018, 03:52:21 PM »
If you want a functional society, yes, it is very important. But it also goes hand in hand with honesty. Using civility to mask dishonesty isn't enough. Being honest without civility isn't great either.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2018, 04:03:19 PM by MTL76 »


Minority Shareholder, Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles (CHOAM)

The Create A Team / Power Set Combo Compendium

XerxesTWD

  • *****
  • 6635
  • +98/-26
  • You can't park here, buddy. Earth is closed today.
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2018, 03:53:56 PM »
If you want a functional society, yes, it is very important. But it also goes hand in hand with honestly. Using civility to mask dishonesty isn't enough. Being honest without civility isn't great either.
Agreed.

Dlbiininja

  • ******
  • 3550
  • +112/-13213
  • Destroyer of father of socks self-esteem
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2018, 09:05:03 PM »
It's meaningless if someone is lying in you're face, being subversive & doing things to attack or demean someone.  And most times it's those who smile the most in your face and really don't give a fuck about you.   But,  they'll do whatever they can to get ahead while screwing others over. 
 
My negative Karma correlates to the amount of butthurt I've caused you! 
blowmeuptom.com/   https://www.facebook.com/tomleykisshow/
http://garyanddino.com/ 

AP

  • ********
  • 18500
  • +112/-56
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2018, 09:31:32 PM »
If you abandon civility, you give your opponents the permission to do the same.

Bran Mak Morn

  • *******
  • 4152
  • +14/-15
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2018, 10:54:36 PM »
If you abandon civility, you give your opponents the permission to do the same.

That's the problem with me...I can't stand hypocrites & people in authority who blatantly lie to big note themselves.

I'm currently working for a Jewish community kitchen & I've made it very clear to the Rabbi & his wife that I have no respect (civility) for them but I will treat them with professional courtesy.
Whenever the Rabbi or his wife is making a speech big noting themselves, I can feel my blood boiling at the blatant lies they're telling the public & my manager (a non Jew) will signal me to walk away & take a break. I've got a history of openly questioning the Rabbi's "facts" in front of a public audience.

Juz saying, opponents are usually already opponents because they've manipulated what construes as civility to others.

Dlbiininja

  • ******
  • 3550
  • +112/-13213
  • Destroyer of father of socks self-esteem
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2018, 12:19:25 AM »
If you abandon civility, you give your opponents the permission to do the same.

That's the problem with me...I can't stand hypocrites & people in authority who blatantly lie to big note themselves.

I'm currently working for a Jewish community kitchen & I've made it very clear to the Rabbi & his wife that I have no respect (civility) for them but I will treat them with professional courtesy.
Whenever the Rabbi or his wife is making a speech big noting themselves, I can feel my blood boiling at the blatant lies they're telling the public & my manager (a non Jew) will signal me to walk away & take a break. I've got a history of openly questioning the Rabbi's "facts" in front of a public audience.

Juz saying, opponents are usually already opponents because they've manipulated what construes as civility to others.

This sounds like the guy I use to work with when I did home deliveries.  He'd pull that help a brotha out shit.  While, talking about don't trust the white man.  When he was a hypocritical fuck and would suck up to the white man.  I personally do not judge people on race.  But, how they directly treat me and others.  Regardless of race.  If you're a manipulative piece of shit.  You're a piece of shit.  And need to have your face meet a hammer.  I would go at it with this dude.  I quit due to him and how he was.  And others who've worked with him after I had and prior would say he was a piece of shit and the instigator and he very much often people to the point of wanting to fight.
My negative Karma correlates to the amount of butthurt I've caused you! 
blowmeuptom.com/   https://www.facebook.com/tomleykisshow/
http://garyanddino.com/ 

Bran Mak Morn

  • *******
  • 4152
  • +14/-15
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2018, 01:41:31 AM »
Yeah I've been told to take a week off after my last screaming match at the Rabbi last Sunday.
Well ok...I also had a screaming match with his wife, 2 days prior...

I've lost a week's wages & I'm seriously questioning whether being civil to people I dislike & don't trust is worth the grief...

AP

  • ********
  • 18500
  • +112/-56
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2018, 06:29:21 AM »
If you abandon civility, you give your opponents the permission to do the same.

That's the problem with me...I can't stand hypocrites & people in authority who blatantly lie to big note themselves.

I'm currently working for a Jewish community kitchen & I've made it very clear to the Rabbi & his wife that I have no respect (civility) for them but I will treat them with professional courtesy.
Whenever the Rabbi or his wife is making a speech big noting themselves, I can feel my blood boiling at the blatant lies they're telling the public & my manager (a non Jew) will signal me to walk away & take a break. I've got a history of openly questioning the Rabbi's "facts" in front of a public audience.

Juz saying, opponents are usually already opponents because they've manipulated what construes as civility to others.

I was thinking more along the lines of politics.  When the whole "punch a Nazi" thing came around, the big question I had is "are you prepared to get punched back?"

MTL76

  • ********
  • 10148
  • +1136/-119
  • "What if I know all your secrets, Your Eminence?"
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2018, 06:47:03 AM »
Yeah I've been told to take a week off after my last screaming match at the Rabbi last Sunday.
Well ok...I also had a screaming match with his wife, 2 days prior...

I've lost a week's wages & I'm seriously questioning whether being civil to people I dislike & don't trust is worth the grief...

If you’re screaming at them, is it really civility?


Minority Shareholder, Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles (CHOAM)

The Create A Team / Power Set Combo Compendium

Bran Mak Morn

  • *******
  • 4152
  • +14/-15
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2018, 08:57:22 AM »
Yeah I've been told to take a week off after my last screaming match at the Rabbi last Sunday.
Well ok...I also had a screaming match with his wife, 2 days prior...

I've lost a week's wages & I'm seriously questioning whether being civil to people I dislike & don't trust is worth the grief...

If you’re screaming at them, is it really civility?

I totally agree my screaming is not civility...it's me reaching my breaking point & seriously questioning whether this job I enjoy doing is worth the daily hypocrisy.

I work for a community kitchen. We help feed the poor, the homeless, refugees & generally anyone unfortunate who is in need of a meal.
I don't consider the Rabbi, his wife & their children unfortunate or poor for that matter. So when the Rabbi's wife asks me to cook dinner for her family, I grudgingly bite my tongue & do as I'm told.
But when she starts calling up friends & inviting them over for dinner & THEN tells me to prepare enough food for 12 more guests....that's where very ounce of civility from my part goes out the window & I'm screaming at the woman that I was never hired or paid enough to be her personal cook.

A couple months prior & another meal I had to cook for her family...I had laid the food out to cool, the Rabbi walks in, she runs over & says, "Look at the wonderful meal I've made for you, my darling."

I know I'm venting & not debating but this topic made me realise I seriously need to weigh whether this job is worth the stress it's giving me.


AP

  • ********
  • 18500
  • +112/-56
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2018, 09:37:14 AM »
Refusing to do work that you are not paid to do has nothing to do with civility.  It's about being fair.

MTL76

  • ********
  • 10148
  • +1136/-119
  • "What if I know all your secrets, Your Eminence?"
    • View Profile
Re: how important is civility
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2018, 10:20:26 AM »
...

They sound like assholes. I’d be pissed too.

This goes back to what I said about civility and honesty being co-dependent. I’m sure these pricks asked you to do this extra unpaid work in a very civil manner, but the request was a dishonest one, so their civility is irrelevant. And this causes you, a normally easygoing guy (from what I’ve noticed on Herochat, anyway) to become justifiably uncivil, which doesn’t change the fact that your complaint is an honest one. Now they’ll turn around and deman civility, without fulfilling their half of the social contract, which is honesty.

It’s very hard to keep your cool when someone is taking advantage of you and lying to your face. It’s worse when they know that you know they are lying, and are counting on your sense of civility to keep you from calling them out on it.

« Last Edit: October 18, 2018, 10:24:23 AM by MTL76 »


Minority Shareholder, Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles (CHOAM)

The Create A Team / Power Set Combo Compendium