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The Bret Hart Categories thread!

Sick Nick

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #75 on: January 30, 2019, 05:46:45 AM »
Lance Storm, if he didn't have such a goofy haircut

Great choice. It was even worse around 1997 when he had a little dyed rat's tail to go with his crew cut.

To be fair to Lance, he did OK everywhere but WWE and he wasn't helped in the E by basically having the gimmick of being the most boring man in the world. In WCW, he was more serious than boring, and in ECW, he was all about the wrestling
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Sick Nick

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #76 on: January 30, 2019, 07:00:00 AM »
A few of the top Impact guys at the mo' ... apologies if any of these have been done already - I bet Johnny Impact has.

Brian Cage

Look - 9.5. I've deducted half a point just because he's under 6 feet tall and wouldn't look so intimidating in WWE. Otherwise, this guy has it all looks wise. He's got a distinctive haircut and he has hands down the most massive and ripped bodybuilder physique in the business this millennium, with the possible exception of Rob Terry. He is easily as huge as BRAWK! Lesnar but makes 'The Manster' look smooth as a pebble.

Skill - 8.5. That's based on my not having watched many of his matches and all I've seen has been against pretty skilled opposition. He's had pretty good TV matches with everyone from Moose to Sami Callihan and even had a good intergender match with Tessa Blanchard. Uniquely for a huge guy, he's not scared of selling for much smaller opponents, although he's a master at knowing when to no-sell. He hits his moves with precision and is an unbelievable athlete for a guy of his build.

Charisma - 9. Cage's unstoppable monster gimmick has got over HUGE in Impact, where most of the fans have sided with him over champ Johnny Impact. He looks to be a pretty decent promo too and can string a few sentences together.

Overall - 27. Great score and he's only going to improve. If this guy ever makes it to WWE, his only onstage hindrance would be his height, and even then he's about 5'10'' or 5'11'', it's not like he's Tazz.

Johnny Impact

Look - 9.5. Hollywood-handsome, with a slim but muscular build and the best abs in the business. The glasses are a great accessory, as is the big fur coat, although he's been rocking that look for years now, and could probably do with freshening it up at some point.

Skill - 8. For me, you either love Impact's capoeira-influenced style or you hate it. I really liked it when he was in WWE, it was different from what everyone else was doing and looked really space age but now, when standing shooting star presses are commonplace, it leaves me a bit cold. It just looks kinda sloppy and style-over-substance. With some of his moves, like running knees, you need the announcers to confirm what he's actually done. He can put together a good match, though.

Charisma - 8.5. He's not the best promo I've ever seen ... he's OK, I guess. His success in movies shows he's got some acting ability but the crowds have turned against him a little lately to the point that even the commentators have to recognise it. Maybe he's growing a bit stale? As John Morrison in WWE, though, he was super over, so he gets points for that.

Overall - 26. Good all-rounder but not the second coming that some used to claim he was.

Killer Kross

Look - 8.5. Really stands out in Impact - the Lennons and duster make fantastic accessories and I love that he wears business garb outside of the ring but he's broken out singlets for street fights etc. He's about as big as Steve Austin but more defined, which makes him look like a giant compared with most Impact wrestlers. Wouldn't look half as impressive in WWE but you can tell he's a gym rat who takes his conditioning super seriously. Facials are absolutely awesome.

Skill - 7.5. Kinda untested for me, I need to see more from him. He's a good brawler, though, with a monster clothesline, and also has a range of brutal suplexes and submission holds. I haven't seen him mess anything up yet. A good, varied game in the ring.

Charisma - 9. Tremendous promo, really eloquent and uses the same quiet, serious promo style that the likes of Jake Roberts and Arn Anderson have in the past. Goes really well with his psycho gimmick. Sid used to do the same thing but would lapse into shouting, and Kross doesn't trip over his own words like Sid occasionally used to. Has come a long way FAST to become Impact's top heel, helped by the refs etc. acting downright terrified of him.

Overall - 25. Maybe I'm overrating him but to me, Kross is a fantastic all-round heel who isn't lacking in any particular area.
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He'll be buying drinks all night then.

Nikkolas

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #77 on: February 02, 2019, 12:19:36 AM »
Would somebody be willing to do Raven?

I mainly like hearing other people's opinions on this sorta thing rather than just giving my own. I'm no wrestling expert after all.

Wyntyr

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #78 on: February 03, 2019, 03:17:40 AM »
Man, my boy Nick is just throwing numbers out like nothing
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Wyntyr

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #79 on: February 03, 2019, 03:24:57 AM »


Jay Briscoe

Look: 9. In fantastic shape, and he LITERALLY looks like the final boss of a post-apocalyptic video game.

Skill: 9. Wide variety of styles, he's great at everything he does, and never botches

Charisma: 8. The bad ol country boy routine is a pretty common schtick in pro-graps, but Jay and Mark do it so differently and so fucking well that they turn it on it's head and make it something special.

Total: 26. He's one of the best in the world right now, and his numbers reflect it.

Fight me.

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Not BAMF

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #80 on: February 03, 2019, 10:52:36 AM »
According to this page, literally every wrestler is Macho Man now.
https://gotstratosphere.com/2019/02/05/show-2-5-19-secretary-of-manga/ (Battle Angel Alita review, AND we name who would be a villainous Presidential cabinet)


HalloweenJack

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #81 on: February 03, 2019, 12:48:13 PM »
yeah I think some of the scores should probably be lower.

Wyntyr

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #82 on: February 03, 2019, 01:23:46 PM »
Yeah they definitely should. My Briscoe numbers were just to fuck with Nick
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Sick Nick

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #83 on: February 04, 2019, 04:14:14 AM »
Haha, maybe I was too generous.

Big Boss Man

Look - 10. Had a 14 PACK and the BEST BEARD EVAH
Skill - 10. He taught Kenta Kobashi everything he knows and at 437lbs, could do a standing shooting star fucksault
Charisma - 11. Madonna once came after smelling one of his farts
Hyrkanian Badass



He'll be buying drinks all night then.

Sick Nick

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #84 on: February 04, 2019, 04:29:53 AM »
Raven

Look - 6.5. This is a tough one because Raven had no physique, although he was pretty cut in his early days as Scotty The Body and Scotty Flamingo but he had a really distinctive look. He OWNED the grunge look, with the flannel shirt, denim shorts, leather jacket and boots, and the hair hanging over one eye. He made some fucking AWFUL decisions during his career mind, like painting a cross over one eye in ECW, and the weird mini-Billy Gunn look he had towards the end of his WWE run, with short trunks and a dyed blond bob.

Skill - 7. Athletically he was at his best in his youth as Scotty The Body but even then, he was a few steps behind WCW cruiserweights like Jushin Liger, Brian Pillman and Scorpio. He was more about the egotistical gimmick than about insane skill. As Raven, he redefined the word 'sloppy', half his clotheslines and strikes look like he's tripping up ... he was a bit like Steve Austin in that respect. He could put together an amazing brawl though and could tell one hell of a story in the ring.

Charisma - 10. No question. I admit I threw out some high numbers before but Raven fully deserves this. He is the one of the best EVER promos in pro wrestling and he was super over in both ECW and WCW. That wasn't the case in WWE but he was past his prime by then and I get the sense he probably had a lot of politics working against him, plus Scott Levy was never much of a team player.

Fair?
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HalloweenJack

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #85 on: February 04, 2019, 05:03:17 PM »
I'm not one for .5s

so I'd give him a 6, a 7, and probably a 9 in charisma. He was good, very very good, but to me he never really hit the tippity top of der flippity flop. Sometimes he could sound a little stilted, but that may just be some of the things he chose to say.

Wyntyr

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #86 on: February 04, 2019, 10:29:56 PM »
8
6
8 imo
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Wyntyr

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #87 on: February 04, 2019, 10:38:12 PM »
I'll adjust my Jay Briscoe numbers, but I'm not happy about it.

8
8
7
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Sick Nick

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Re: The Bret Hart Categories thread!
« Reply #88 on: February 05, 2019, 04:46:17 AM »
Adjusted Impact Wrestling numbers and to say I'm not happy about it is an understatement. I'm fucking livid and I'm about to bust heads. Gonna take out any .5s as well

Brian Cage

9
7
7

Johnny Impact

8
8
7

Killer Kross

8
7
8

And just for shits and giggles ... Moose

Look - 8. He's neither super-swole like Cage nor cut like Impact or Kross but he is a big solid block of a guy who towers almost anyone else in Impact. Stands 6'5'' and weighed nearly 300lbs during his NFL days and he's probably at least 280 now. The pseudo-pimp jackets and flashy sunglasses get across his playa gimmick beautifully

Skill - 6. Has some nifty moves for a big guy but it feels like he's still learning and he's a little stilted in the ring. Feels like he needs to be led. Tremendous athlete though and you can see him improving from week to week

Charisma - 5. I never saw Moose as a face but you can tell he absolutely LOVES being a heel. He pulls out all the old classics like faking handshakes with fans at ringside and he's just hilarious ... the other day, after overpowering Johnny Impact, he started doing Hulk Hogan impressions, with crab poses and cupping his ear and what not. Has a real knack for being a bad guy but crucially I don't know whether it's translated to actual heel heat yet, for all his beating up women and everything. Maybe that's why they paired him up with Kross.

Moose's enthusiasm is palpable ... he probably doesn't need the money Impact's paying him, so I would guess he's out there because he genuinely wants to improve his craft and become the best. I've got a lot of time for that attitude.
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