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RIP Brain

HalloweenJack

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RIP Brain
« on: September 17, 2017, 09:28:45 PM »
 :(

Thorne

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2017, 10:03:41 PM »
holy fuck thats tragic

legend on the mic never to be replaced

damn

Jabroniville

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2017, 10:59:22 PM »
Yeah, this sucks. 73 is hella-old, but nobody wanted to see the Brain go. As Cornette said, Heenan might be the greatest all-around talent in wrestling history. There's a lot of great wrestlers, but not many of those went on to become great managers- much less one of, if not THE greatest managers of all time. And how many of THEM went into the commentary booth and became possibly the greatest color commentator of all time? Heenan fucking excelled at everything.

Gotta re-post this:

Warning: Reading Bobby Heenan quotes may lead to the pissing of pants.

(Shawn Michaels infamously turns on his partner Marty Jannetty, and throws him through the window of The Barber Shop set)
Heenan: "Did you see that? JANNETTY TRIED TO DIVE THROUGH THE WINDOW TO ESCAPE!"
Monsoon: "Are you KIDDING?"
Heenan: "What an act of cowardice!"
---

"You know why there were 220 Mexicans at the Alamo?... They only had one car."

---
Heenan's best-ever moment came as the commentator of the 1992 Royal Rumble, where his blatant bias towards Ric Flair came to a head, and he spent literally 80-plus minutes talking about how great Flair was and how all his enemies sucked. One of the funniest goddamned things EVER.

Or when everyone was eliminated from the ring except Flair Heenan started yelling "He won! He won! Quick give him the belt!" Even though there were still like 15 people left.
---
(The Barbarian enters the Rumble): The Barbarian doesn't like ANYBODY. When I managed him he barely liked ME! Why do you think they call him the Barbarian? He's not a hairdresser on his day off!
---
Bobby: Virgil just came in, he's number 23, right?
Gorilla: That's right!
Bobby: Just think, who knows how many bags he's gone through in the back!
Gorilla: Will you be serious?!
---
(Roddy Piper saves Flair from a Jake Roberts DDT)
Bobby: I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
(Not long after, Piper attacks Flair)
Bobby: You no-good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!

Or when Heenan literally started bargaining with Jesus to let Flair win "I promise- I'll be a better person!"

---
Brain: (on w:Real American, w:Hulk Hogan's theme music) "That's my second favorite song."
Gorilla: "I'm almost afraid to ask...what's your favorite?"
Brain: "All the rest are tied."
---
Gorilla is talking about the last match, and Bobby is on the banana phone with someone, trying to get advance tickets to Wrestlemania VII, and one listens carefully and hears, in rapid succession:
"That's right, tickets are going on sale" "Well don't get smart with me, I'll slap you in the mouth" "Do you want me to knock ya down?" and as they pan off to an ad, "I'll talk to you later mom"
---
(Bobby on the WWF's 1-900 number)
Gorilla: Kids, ask your parent's permission before calling.
Brain: "And if they don't give you permission, just take a baseball bat, sneak up behind them, and BAM!!"
---
Gorilla: What would you do if you were the Hitman (in a title match)
Brain: Well, I'd have my agent buy it for me and if that didn't work I'd take him out back and waffle him with a tire iron.
---
Gorilla: "That was an illegal move!"
Brain: "No it wasn't."
Gorilla: "Yes it was!"
Brain: "No, it was a legal move, it was a Greco-Roman Hair Pull."
---
(Wrestlemania IX)
Ross: Hogan's giving the money away!
Bobby: Hold my headset! I'm gonna go get some cash!
---
(Referring to Sherri)
Brain: That's my pin-up girl!
Gorilla: I think you should see your occulist.
Brain: There's nothing wrong with my feet!
---
[When Roddy faced Bret for the IC title...after Piper showed some professional courtesy for Bret]
"You know that show of sportsmanship....the respect for each other, the enthusiasm they have....makes me sick!"
---
Gorilla: (referring to a woman's sign in the crowd) Natural Disasters Rule. How about that?
Bobby: If she'd been at home doing the dishes she wouldn't have time to make stupid cards like that. Bimbo.
---
Bobby: (on the foam fingers in the audience) I remember when I used to walk to the ring, McMahon, and people used to hold up one finger.
Vince: That was a different kind of salute.
---
Bobby: Now, wouldn't you classify 20 members of the Hart family living together as a ghetto?
---
(At Havoc 94 Flair walks by Bischoff and Brain was holding up 4 fingers. Hogan walks by after Flair has entered the cage.)
Bischoff: When Flair walked by he held up 4 fingers. That was the sign of the 4 Horsemen.
Brain: When Hogan walked by I held up one finger.
---
Brain: Once you wrestle Rikki Atakki (a Japanese jobber), an hour later you want to wrestle him again.
---
Brain: You know what they call a woman with 2 million dollars?
Schivone: What?
Brain: Divorced.
---
(about Mexican wrestler Tito Santana) "Do you know what 'Arriba' means? It means 'Swim faster, the border guards are behind us".
---
Gorilla: "This place is going crazy! Look at the Hulkster pointing to all of his hulkamaniacs!
Heenan: "He's not pointing to anybody, he's showing off how high he can count!"
---
"I'll say this about Kerry Von Erich. He's the only man I know who can hide his own Easter Eggs."
---
Bobby: "I once knew a couple of Siamese twins."
Hillbilly Jim: "Really? They were born, uh... together like that"
Bobby: "UUUUHHHH, no, a couple weekends ago they had a soldering gun and nothing better to do. DDUUUUUUHHHH YEAH, they were BORN like that!"

Uhtceare

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2017, 11:04:54 PM »
Ah, I thought this would be about Maurice LaMarche.

Thorne

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2017, 11:42:29 PM »
Ah, I thought this would be about Maurice LaMarche.

in the wrestling forum? how can you communicate when you have the I.Q. of a doorknob?

Jabroniville

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2017, 11:43:07 PM »
(at the Pearly Gates)

Brain: "Heya, Monsoon! Didja miss me?!"
Gorilla: "BRAIN! How did YOU get in here?!"
Brain: "Some hippy-looking doofus wasn't gonna let me in, so I waffled him with a tire iron and snuck around the side entrance"
Gorilla: "WILL YOU STOP?!"

Thorne

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2017, 11:50:55 PM »
and fuckin Kerry Von Erich is still wandering around like


Riv1

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2017, 12:39:00 AM »
(at the Pearly Gates)

Brain: "Heya, Monsoon! Didja miss me?!"
Gorilla: "BRAIN! How did YOU get in here?!"
Brain: "Some hippy-looking doofus wasn't gonna let me in, so I waffled him with a tire iron and snuck around the side entrance"
Gorilla: "WILL YOU STOP?!"
Thar says it all.
RIP, Brain.
Thats not a bat. This...is a bat.

Insane Titan

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2017, 05:44:04 AM »
Great stuff Jab.

RIP Brain.

Uhtceare

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2017, 11:48:55 AM »
Ah, I thought this would be about Maurice LaMarche.

in the wrestling forum? how can you communicate when you have the I.Q. of a doorknob?

I didn't check the forum. I just did a search for unread threads. There was no need to be rude.

Thorne

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2017, 01:06:39 PM »
It's a classic insult from the Brain, in the spirit of the thread ya bum.

HalloweenJack

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2017, 05:14:57 PM »
WILL YOU STOP?!!

Riv1

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2017, 05:59:31 PM »
Thats not a bat. This...is a bat.

Jabroniville

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2017, 04:11:12 AM »
Another great Brain moment:

Andre the Giant, the most hated Monster Heel of all time, turned babyface... because Bobby Heenan slapped him once.

Or the Bret/Piper WrestleMania match. When Bret goes down with a knee injury, Monsoon expresses concern. Heenan immediately shouts "Yeah, or he's GOLD-BRICKIN'!" A disgusted Monsoon can only reply "He is NOT." At which point Bret IMMEDIATELY jumps up, rolls up Piper, and nearly pins him. Heenan is practically jumping up and down with glee that Bret would do something so dishonest.

Hal Jordan

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Re: RIP Brain
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2017, 09:13:54 PM »
and fuckin Kerry Von Erich is still wandering around

The Brain wasn't lying when he said Kerry could hide his own Easter eggs. (based on the lost dog story that Jim Cornette has told about Kerry)