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Messages - Strawman Abridged

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ICT / Re: Build a non-Marvel/DC Hellfire Club
« on: August 04, 2017, 03:47:11 AM »
Lord Imperial

Damien Thorn ( Lil Nicky )

Political muscle, evil Scarlet Witch, he's the Anti-Christ. This is Dr. Alan Grant if he wielded the powers of chaos theory, a fucking abomination. Can't be killed for real without an overly complicated religious ritual, God hates humans.

Black King

Heihachi Mishima (River City Ransom )

Corporate mogul, uber street fighter, refuses to fucking die, threw his kid off a cliff at some point for being a mewling nerd. Feuding with his entire fucking family.

Black Queen

Baroness ( M.A.S.H )

Femme Fatale, spy, Cobra connections, arms trade by means of her hold over Destro's dick, her Hellfire membership is yet another attempt to get away from under Cobra Commander's fucking thumb.

White King

The Major ( Castelvania )

Nazi mastermind, lover of war, cyborg, army of artificial vampire stormtroopers and mystical science freaks, triumph of the human spirit personified. Terrible fucking marksman.

White Queen

The White Witch ( the Hobbit )

Sorcery, fighting skills, cold as ice, bound to corrupt young Bobby Drake by making him straight again ( that fucking loser )

Red Queen

Motherbrain ( Contra )

Fucking disgusting alien queen, need some more scifi to balance out the hocus pocus bullshit, what is this some boring Dr. Strange comic?


Envy ( Naruto )

Shape-shifting asshole, errand boy, working for the Club after Damien promised him a way to become human. A fucking jerk.

Music, Movies, Tv and Books / Re: Recast Flash Gordon
« on: July 31, 2017, 03:13:30 PM »
John Travolta as Ming, cuz we need a Ming that just randomly does a jig now and then.

Runner up: Tom Cruise

DC Drones / Re: Batman 27 KiteMan origin
« on: July 31, 2017, 02:35:47 PM »
Dead kids are a small price to pay for maintaining Batman's sick elaborate Zorro fantasy. Every now and again one needs to die as some metaphorical reenactment of lil Bruce Wayne's figurative death on the night his parents were killed. This helps reinvigorate Batman's drive to continue waging war on crime. Sometimes he'll waver and dress up young boys in bright garish costumes, to evoke some twisted idyllic version of himself that could've been had his parents not died. And yet the Batman must exist, so such fanciful dreams must come to a violent end.

Batman is fucking insane and a POS imo

ICT / Re: Crime Cartel builder
« on: July 30, 2017, 10:17:42 PM »

?????!?  ( Usual Suspects )

Enforcer 1:

Sub-Zero ( Bloodsport you fuxcking idiot )

Enforcer 2:

Meng ( real life )

Enforcer 3:

Anton Chigurgh ( No Country for Old Men )

Real Estate:

Lex Luthor ( some faggot's movies )

Sex Trade:

Littlefinger ( Game of Thrones )

Cyber Crime:

Trannie BD Wong aka White Rose  ( Mr. Robot )


Sharkie ( Harry Pot )

Inner City Crime:

Cyrus  ( the Warriors )

Iron Pilgrim vs the World

ICT / Re: Weakest magic user that can beat Superman?
« on: July 26, 2017, 12:46:13 PM »
Just when Superman thinks he's overcome Christian Bale's character from the Prestige, his twin brother shoots him from the back. My Cocaine level him with a parting lesson on magic, jewels, and tangerines.

Enough with this drama shit

Back on topic, Planet of the Apes. Metaphors count, right?

ICT / Re: Joker vs Moon Knight
« on: July 22, 2017, 12:23:01 AM »
Joker: and the cow jumped over the -

Cow:MOOOOOOOO!!! *drops from above trap*

Moon Knight: Spider-sense tingAMERICABUB


Joker: Hey, don't interrupt! Oh well, no use crying over SPILLED MILK hahahahAhahhahaAha

That is the scenario I envision

General Chat / Re: Where's the OJ party?
« on: July 22, 2017, 12:16:21 AM »
Hope this means OJ + CGI Leslie Nielson reuniting for the next Naked Gun entry

ICT / Re: Assign an X-Man to your fellow posters
« on: July 21, 2017, 11:15:27 PM »
AJ = Strong Guy

Jelly = Bishop. Poor man's Cable, absorbs and fires back hate, fighting the good fight for a better future because there's nothing more really to this character

Gree = Nightcrawler. Everybody loves this swashbuckling, hairy creature.

Liquid = Shadowcat. Very outspoken on race relations.

Strider = Adam X. Too extreme for this place, born too early ( or too late? ). Modern day Gen. Patton ( rip )

Maybe he's as durable as a diamond

Who? I only have so much memory set aside for remembering women's names. Draw me a picture.

ICT / Re: Furio vs Muscles Marinara (Sopranos)
« on: July 15, 2017, 12:41:04 AM »
What about Furio vs Pussy's gay fireman boyfriend?

The Cena generation's growing up, time for a semi-return to the Attitude era. Rockhard Roman Reigns Cometh.

ICT / Re: Superman and Silver Sufer
« on: July 09, 2017, 04:14:44 PM »
Dini Parasite, in exchange for a faster wifi connection in his jail cell.

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